


Doctors, Desert, Army

by Haggis (Karen121968)



Series: Holby City Stuff [1]
Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Serena Friendship with Bernie & Alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:17:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8136976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karen121968/pseuds/Haggis
Summary: I love where the show has taken these characters but it might have been more fun to see Alex kept around for the blossoming of the Serena/Bernie friendship.  This is my attempt to capture that scenario, however since I know little about either the Army, Doctors or Hospitals I am hoping that you will forgive any glaring factual errors and allow me some poetic licence for the rest.





	1. Memories

Serena lounged back on the chair, finally relaxing after a fraught couple of weeks. “So” she closed her eyes and gave herself the chance to change her mind, to not ask the question that was on the tip of her tongue.

“So?” Bernie was lying out on the sofa, twirling a half-full wine glass in her hand and enjoying the mindless pleasure of the light refracting through the glass and liquid. Serena had sounded quite serious when she’d started speaking but now she was silent and Bernie put the glass down on the floor and turned to look at her colleague, her friend. “Whatever it is, just ask me” she smiled a little sadly that Serena still hesitated to trust her.

“OK” Serena nodded and appeared to have come to a decision. “So” she started and sat up a little straighter in the chair, prompting Bernie to roll her eyes and prepare herself for a doozy. “Tell me how you and Alex met”

Bernie looked a little confused, she had imagined a lot of other topics that were causing Serena to lead up to them gently but not this. “Doctors, desert, army” she shrugged and picked her glass up again. “If they are all that simple then let’s try to get a few more before the wine runs out”

“I didn’t mean ‘met’” Serena sighed, she’d have to bite the bullet and be less vague. “I meant how did you get together” There was a dead silence, not even the house creaking or traffic from outside, and Serena rushed to fill it. “I wouldn’t have thought that either the desert or the army were conducive to Doctors snogging each other” she closed her eyes and realised how intrusive she was being. “You don’t have to…..”

“It was a patient” Bernie began and pushed her hair out of her eyes, which glazed over as she was back in that dreadful place.

***********************************************************

“Dammit” Bernie leaned to the side and the attentive theatre nurse cleaned her visor of blood splatter again. “I can’t find the source” she muttered under her breath.

“Blood pressure is still dropping” Alex murmured, aware that Bernie would know this because of the amount of blood pooling on the table and floor but needing to fulfill her role in this terrible case where she could see only one outcome, even with Bernie in charge. “He’s in arrest” she checked the monitors and tried to think of a way to help but it was clearly past the point of no return for this young man.

Bernie was trying to find the largest hole but the abdomen was filled with blood, the suction being applied by nurses not coming close to helping and she was having to do it by touch alone. This was their 10th straight hour in surgery and her fingers were cramping as she closed her eyes and visualised what she was feeling. “Bugger,” she said into the sudden silence as Alex switched off the audible alarms. “It’s torn to shreds” she looked at her junior colleague and shook her head. “There’s nothing we can do” she watched the blood flow slow down as the young heart finally gave up completely. “Time of death 12.38” Bernie read the local time from the large clock that was positioned in her eye line for just such an eventuality.

The senior theatre nurse stepped forward and began the usual tasks of winding down after surgery. Bernie stepped away from the table and stripped off her gown and mask, throwing them into the bin behind her. Looking down she realised that the blood had soaked through onto the scrubs as well so she pulled them off and dumped them too. Her colleague was also stripping down to his underwear and Bernie looked around to see several nurses who would also have to do the same once they had cleared the remnants of the surgery away and prepared the body for removal. Bernie reached onto the shelf behind her and threw a clean pair of scrubs at the young doctor, “Can you see if we have anyone else on the list?” she asked him and he nodded and pulled on the trousers before heading outside to check on any remaining casualties. Bernie pulled her own scrubs on as she glanced up in time to see one of the younger nurses watching the doctor leave, admiring his naked torso before the door closed on him pulling the scrub top over his head, she raised an eyebrow and the girl blushed before getting back to her duties.

Alex signed off her report and finished removing lines from the soldier’s body. She worked with her team to restock the items they had used and prepare the room for the quick turnaround they usually had when they were this busy, tasking one of the less senior anaesthetists to make sure it was completed before stepping around the other staff and heading towards the scrub room where Bernie had just disappeared.

Bernie was gently clenching and flexing her fingers before moving up her wrists and arms as she soaped them. Alex handed her a towel before performing a less rigorous washing regime, she hadn’t been elbow deep in chests and abdomens all day and once again realised how lucky she was to be able to observe someone as skilled as Bernie. “Long day,” Bernie said quietly.

“Yes ma’am” Alex agreed and dumped her towel after drying her hands before crossing to the water cooler to get them both some water.

“Alex,” Bernie said, even more quietly as she sat down. 

“I know Bern” Alex sighed and sagged down onto the bench at the side of the room, leaving a gap between them. “You know you did all you could”

“I did, but it still annoys me that it’s not always good enough” Bernie frowned and glanced to her side to see Alex’s face. “What’s even more irksome is that we’ve both been in theatre for 11 hours straight and you look like you’ve spent the morning drinking tea and scones with the vicar”

Alex grinned and ran her hand through her sweaty hair. “It’s my natural glow and I am of course so much younger than you” she ducked to avoid the thankfully empty water cup sailing past her head.

A few moments later Bernie’s junior colleague stepped into the room and narrowly avoided a plastic cup that went sailing past him to hit the door that closed behind him. “Sorry Dan” Bernie shrugged as she tried to get back to being Major Wolfe.

“Nothing to apologise for ma’am” he assured her and kept his eyes on Major Wolfe whilst studiously ignoring Captain Dawson who was lying on the floor gasping and dripping with water. “There aren’t any other surgeries required ma’am but the ortho team has asked if you could take a look at the chap who came in with our last patient?” He handed over a file and then quickly handed Alex a couple of towels to dry her hair.

“Danny-Boy” Alex nodded to him with thanks and quickly dried off her hair before dumping the towels and her wet top in the basket. She grabbed another scrub top and pulled it on, resituating her stethoscope around her neck, before stepping around the two surgeons who were now in deep discussion over the latest case.

“Broad-Sword” Danny waved at her as she left and she grinned as she heard the expected “tut” of disapproval from Bernie.

Alex began her rounds to check on the progress of patients they had treated today and any who had not already been transported from yesterday’s list. Reports were updated and requests for changes in medication or doses placed with the nursing staff. A couple of times she’d glanced up to see where Bernie was and smiled as she watched her interact with a patient or colleague. An hour after she began her rounds she was finishing up and considering a very late lunch so she scanned the ward again to find her friend.

Bernie was sitting beside a bed in deep conversation with a patient. Alex wandered over to the nurses’ station and asked about the history. She was handed the same file she’d seen Bernie and Dan reading earlier and quickly scanned the details of the attack.

“Tom you need to believe me” Bernie rested her hand on his arm, trying to make him focus on her instead of being back in the ambush that had killed his best friend. “I am the best that the British Army has and there was nothing I could do to save him” she watched as he reacted to her words. “Ask anyone around here, if someone has the smallest chance of survival then they will leave here having survived”

“I’m sure you did your best” he mumbled, trying to pretend he wasn’t weeping by not wiping his eyes. “But if I’d been closer to him…..” he trailed off.

“Then you’d be dead as well,” Bernie said clearly. “I’ve read your file and seen the scans on your knees.” she stood up to her full height and crossed arms. “You managed to crawl to Mark and administer a tourniquet to his arm but he had suffered massive internal blast injuries, you stayed with him and gave him comfort and hope until the medical evacuation and I understand you refused to let anyone treat you until they had dealt with Mark first.”

“Yes ma’am, but I wasn’t dying…...” he started, only to be cut off by Major Wolfe at her sharpest.

“You may be very good at your job corporal but I expect you to assume we are as well and let us decide medical priorities” she was standing at her full height now, hands at her sides.

“I’m sorry” Tom started crying in earnest. “He never knew”

Bernie looked around her and caught Alex’s eye, staring at each other they had a silent conversation before Alex nodded and headed back to the nurse’s station. “How do you do that?” Liz asked, she had been posted to the base just after Bernie and quite a while before Alex so had seen the changes in Bernie, but would never broach the subject with her. 

“Do what?” Alex asked

“That telepathic thing you both do” Liz nodded her head towards Bernie, who was back sitting next to the bed trying to console the soldier.

“Ah” Alex smiled. “That’s an officer thing” the smile sliding into a full grin. 

“I think it's a Wolfe thing” Liz ventured quietly so that only Alex would hear her. “We just never had anyone who could understand it before you arrived. You’re like our Wolfe-whisperer” 

Alex bumped her shoulder against Liz. “You’re terrible Nurse Beresford” she signed off a medication requisition and handed it to the nurse who was now laughing quietly. “Can you get these for Major Wolfe’s patient please and if you’re lucky I will never tell her what you said”

“Yes ma’am” and Liz snapped to a very impressive attention and salute before about turning and marching to the drugs cupboard.

Bernie was holding Tom’s hand now and keeping a close eye on his monitors to make sure he wasn’t suffering any unexpected side effects after being blown 200 yards away from his friends. He must have been in shock to be able to crawl back towards his closest friend because otherwise, the pain would have made him pass out. “What didn’t he know?” Bernie asked quietly.

Tom took a couple of shuddering breaths before looking around the ward. “He was my best friend,” he said firmly, using the sheet to dry his eyes.

“You crawled 150 yards across burning debris with two dislocated knees towards where the danger was located to tell Mark that he was your best friend?” Bernie knew there was more to it than that but didn’t feel comfortable just telling him he was lying. A fleeting thought that Alex would be proud of her tact caused her stomach to flip and in turn, reminded her that she hadn’t eaten recently. Pushing thoughts of her own comfort out of her mind she leaned closer to the young man. “I think you needed him to hear something a bit more important than that and you don’t have to tell me, I’m a surgeon, not a counsellor, but it might be better to get it off your chest finally while you can blame the strong drugs I’m about to pump you full of”

“Best surgeon in the British Army” Tom finally laughed a little and wiped his eyes again.

“Well I was being humble” Bernie winked at him. “It’s not just in our Army.” Tom laughed a little more freely and she was relieved to see him rest back and take some deep breaths. 

“I was in love with him” Tom looked her straight in the eye. “Shocked the hell out of me, always had girlfriends before”

“And was Mark gay?” Bernie asked

“Nope, well not that he admitted to me” Tom shrugged. “But I was pretty sure I was getting something from him to make me think I wasn’t completely on my own in thinking that way”

“How long?” Bernie asked and caught Alex moving into her eye line several feet away. She carefully lifted a couple of fingers to let her know that she wasn’t required just yet. 

“Six months for me,” Tom said. “Two months of seeing him looking at me like I was pretty sure I was looking at him, you know, when he thought no-one could see him”

Bernie nodded. “Why wait?” she was keeping the questions short partly to force Tom to get this off his chest before she sedated him but also because the questions were ringing alarm bells in her head and she had no idea why.

“We were due on leave in three weeks and I had planned a week away just for the two of us, I was going to tell him how I felt and give us a chance to figure out what to do about it” Tom started crying slowly again, tears tracking down his face. “I was so focussed on making a big romantic gesture that I wasted the opportunity to tell him how much I loved him, to find out if he felt even some of the same”

Bernie waved Alex over. “Dr. Dawson is going to give you a sedative, I need you to get some sleep before you’re repatriated tomorrow. When you wake up you’re going to remember the whole thing again and focus on everything you did wrong and all the time you wasted.”

Alex saw the colour drain from the soldier’s face and wondered what the hell Bernie was doing to this traumatised young man by telling him this.

“But” Bernie gripped his hands between hers. “The only way you will survive this is to survive for both of you” she cleared her throat. “You need to rehab and then decide what you would have done with your life had Mark been by your side, how successful and happy you would both have been and then try your very best to live that life, to honour his memory”

Tom sobbed and leaned forward to hug her. Bernie held him gently before pulling back and looking at Alex. “Could you give Corporal Preston a few hours please?”

“Ma’am” Alex nodded and moved to her side. She added the sedative to his drip line and carefully updated his records to show what had been administered and recorded his status before returning the paperwork to the end of his bed. “Major Wolfe,” she said quietly as Bernie forgot that she was in the way.

“Sorry, of course, Capt Dawson” Bernie stepped back and let Alex finish checking his status until he was in a deep, drugged sleep and responding as expected. 

Alex returned her stethoscope to her neck and started walking towards the exit “Lunch…...or is it dinner?” she asked of Bernie who was following her.

“I don’t even know what time it is” Bernie yawned and then squinted as they exited the building into blinding sunlight. Alex handed her the sunglasses that she kept for both of them in her pocket. “Thanks and I guess it’s mid-afternoon so afternoon tea then” the frivolity was lost a little in the enormous yawn that followed it.

“I doubt we were in there long enough for the mess hall to introduce cream teas of an afternoon” Alex suggested, trying to swallow her own yawn.

*********************************************************************************

Serena watched as Bernie relived the memory, marvelling at the detail her friend was able to remember and convey to the point that Serena now felt herself yawning. More importantly she felt that a break in the narrative would be best for both of them. “More wine?” she asked as there seemed to be a natural break in the story.

“Yes please” Bernie was surprised that she felt warm and thirsty but found herself in Serena’s very pleasant front room and not the desert. She handed Serena her glass and stood up to pull her sweater over her head, dumping it on the back of the sofa before smoothing down the shirt she had been wearing underneath. “Thanks” she toasted Serena with the newly refilled glass.

Serena settled herself again “So did you know you were gay at this point?”

Bernie took a slow sip of her chilled wine before answering. “Hindsight is a wonderful thing so I think I have probably always been bisexual and aware enough to know that I’d not just chosen Marcus, but rather the appearance of heterosexuality” she took a larger sip of wine before continuing. “I just assumed that any other fleeting attractions were normal in any relationship”

“Until Alex?” Serena tried to keep her voice as calm as she could, this was very tricky ground they were covering and she didn’t want to learn more of Bernie’s past by putting their future relationship at risk.

“Not really” Bernie blushed and suddenly found the Axminster carpet positively riveting.

“You slept with someone else?!” Serena nearly spat out her wine.

“Not really” Bernie took a deep breath and returned her eyes to Serena, she opened her mouth to explain but Serena held up her hand to interrupt.

“If you don’t want to give me the details I’ll understand, I had assumed that Alex was the reason for your divorce, I hadn’t even considered that she was the latest one to come along.”

“God no!” Bernie stood and began to pace. “I fell in love with Alex, but, well she didn’t open the closet door”

“OK” Serena reached out her hands and gently stopped Bernie’s pacing. “I’m sorry, please continue, I think you were going to the mess hall?”

***********************************************************************************

“So it’s your turn” Alex stretched her back and rotated her neck to work out the kinks.

Bernie grimaced as she finished the last of the coffee and ran her hands through her hair. “Apart from a haircut I’d definitely choose the biggest, freshest caesar salad I could find with two litres of sparkling water and then two litres of black coffee and finish up with a brandy”

“Two litres of brandy?” Alex laughed as she lifted both trays to take them to the cleaning station. “Cos I definitely want to be part of that lunch”

“Of course you’re part of our first lunch when we’re home, but you wouldn’t last even two glasses, you’re a lightweight Dawson” Bernie reminded her and crossed her arms as she waited for Alex to exit the mess.

“Honestly, you fall down once after two pints and you’re never allowed to forget it!” Alex huffed and replaced her glasses. 

“I think it was the ‘falling asleep in a lap dancing club’ part that is legendary” Bernie took great delight in reminding her again. “I could have gotten away with that, claiming disinterest, but not you”

“Disinterest, yeah” Alex muttered under her breath. “So a refreshing walk on this delightful balmy afternoon?” she suggested in her more normal voice as she fell into step with her Major. They headed off on their usual circuit of the camp, where the unrelenting heat only dropped a little when they sat in the shade of a container at the end of the first lap. “You can tell me about it if it would help”

Bernie sighed and pushed the sunglasses up to the top of her head, corralling her unruly hair and letting her see Alex’s eyes when they talked. “They were best friends” she began, stretching her legs out in front of her. 

“Like us” Alex bumped her shoulder against Bernie’s and was surprised to see a blush run up her friend’s neck, even with the skin tone slightly pink because of the sun.

“Well not quite” Bernie rubbed her hands over her face. “They were about to go on leave soon and Tom was psyching himself up to tell Mark that he was in love with him”

“Wow” Alex was genuinely surprised. “It is tough to form relationships in the regular army, no wonder they were waiting till leave to hook up” Alex nodded.

“Well since it appeared that neither of them thought they were gay and Tom was fairly sure it would come as a surprise to Mark it might not have been as simple as a hook up” Bernie slouched down a little further, the repurposed old office chairs not the most comfortable but a welcome relief in the shaded corner of the compound.

“OK, now I can see why he was so upset” Alex nodded and swallowed down the confession she had been close to blurting out.

“I think it was just the bloody infuriating injustice of it all” Bernie sighed. “I mean people fall in love all of the time when they are in high-pressure situations like ours”

Alex stared at her best friend, astounded by the Olympic standard obliviousness being displayed. “I suppose so” she finally offered weakly and looked away to hide the moisture building in her eyes.

“And it’s not like it’s the first time that someone has come to realise their gender preference a bit later in life” Bernie continued, still sticking to the narrative she was following to its inevitable conclusion while blithely ignoring the similarities to her own situation.

“Did you ever try out for the bobsleigh team?” Alex asked, shocking Bernie out of her reveries with the randomness. She could picture Bernie in a tight lycra suit, running in one direction only and keeping her head down as she jumped aboard the sled (appropriately named the straightsville) before careening down a track which had no exits and no ‘wrong turns’ before you came to the inevitable endpoint. To Alex, this suddenly seemed like the perfect metaphor for their current situation, but she couldn’t figure out how to dig a side tunnel or escape route in the metaphor any more than she could in real life.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Bernie looked at Alex to see her friend looking genuinely annoyed. “I’m talking about a tragic death and you’re asking about winter Olympic sports?”

Alex leaned forward, her forearms resting on her thighs and her sunglasses dangling between her knees as she tried to gather her anger and disappointment into its usual “box of denial” in her heart. “Sorry, a bit of heat-stroke maybe?”

Bernie immediately jumped up and kneeled in the sand in front of Alex’s chair, “Lift your chin up” she demanded, shining the small light into the two eyes and ascribing the abundance of moisture gathered there to the sudden brightness. “Are you feeling dizzy or seeing double?” she demanded.

“Bernie I’m fine” Alex tried to swat away the hands that were running across her forehead and trying to get her to follow a moving finger. “I just lost track of the story, my mind wandered, that’s all”

Bernie took Alex’s left hand in hers and slowly placed her fingers to check her pulse. “It’s a little elevated but mine would be too in this heat” she finally begrudgingly agreed to return to her chair.

At that point Alex was relieved that Bernie was clueless as to her feelings for her superior officer. She’d put the increased heart rate down to the heat and they were sitting in enough shade that the blush that started on Alex’s chest and rose up to the tip of her ears was nearly invisible. “I’m sorry, I was listening right up until that part” Alex tried to return them to the story. “So the guy who died had no idea that his best friend fancied him or that he may not be straight”

Bernie looked Alex over carefully, worried that the racing pulse and flushed skin might be indicators of heat stroke after all. She had a split second of clarity where she knew, if Alex had knelt in front of her and gently caressed her wrist and forehead then she would have displayed exactly those symptoms but probably to a higher degree. That clarity disappeared almost as quickly as it arrived however and was stored in the ‘only to be opened in complete privacy’ section of her memories.

“That’s the gist of it” Bernie stretched as she stood up again, “Can we do another circuit or two, I need to work off the adrenaline or I’ll never get to sleep?”

“Sure” Alex sighed and stood up, stretching her back and neck. “Clockwise this time?”

“You do like to mix things up!” Bernie tried to return the joking lightness of their earlier conversations in the mess. As she followed Alex out of the shade she felt as if the wall she had built inside was starting to crumble in places and spent the next hour trying to figure out how to shore up the feelings that were leaking out.

Alex returned from the shower block in her shorts and workout shirt, nodding at a few recognisable faces before making her way to the bunk room she shared with Bernie. Stowing her gear she slowly ground out 50 pushups and then 50 squats, trying to keep count and not comment on Bernie sitting on her own bunk and blatantly watching her. When she was done she dumped the workout shirt and pulled on a tank top. “You ready to put the light out?” Alex checked and switched off the lights, plunging the room into semi-darkness.

Bernie sat with her back against the bunk-room wall, a relatively rigid canvas that allowed a measure of protection from the heat and light. “Why do you exercise after your shower?” she asked as Alex slid under her single sheet and wriggled around to find a comfortable spot in her bunk

Alex turned her head and smiled at Bernie “As opposed to you never exercising at all?” she teased. “Or did I miss the memo where Majors don’t have to qualify for PT?”

Bernie acknowledged the teasing and slid under her own sheet, turning on her side to face Alex. “I get enough exercise on days like this to last me a couple of weeks and I do lift weights whenever they aren’t being hogged by sweaty marines”

“And here was me thinking that the attraction was the sweaty marines!” Alex laughed. She turned on her own side to face Bernie and was met with a patented Wolfe-glare, level 5. “Yeah, yeah, you don’t scare me with your Major glares”

“You should know better than anyone that it’s not the marines,” Bernie said quietly and turned onto her back to stare at the ceiling and avoid seeing Alex’s reaction.

Alex gulped and took a few breaths to stop the first three answers from spilling out. “I don’t know anything for certain Bernie” she considered that option number four was the least likely to get her in trouble.

They lapsed into a silence that lasted for several minutes. Alex could almost see the cogs turning in Bernie’s brain and was prepared to give her the time to figure it out since the conclusion she expected to hear had been deeply buried for quite a while.

Just as the silence was becoming a little stretched and Alex was considering starting a different conversation, they both heard a low, strangled moan from a room along from theirs.

“It must be our lucky day” Alex sighed and turned onto her back, pushing the thin sheet down to pool around her waist and stretching out to put her hands behind her head.

“God not again” Bernie ground out. 

“Everyone releases tension differently” Alex quietly reflected.

“Like pushups and squats?” Bernie asked just as quietly.

Alex finally understood the phrase ‘you could hear a pin drop’, she breathed in and out slowly to calm her suddenly raised pulse rate. “It works sometimes” she admitted.

“I wish it did for me” Bernie whispered as they heard some more movement and moaning. 

“I can leave if you want to try something more direct” Alex made the offer as Bernie’s best friend and it was killing her to wait to hear the reply.

“I can’t” Bernie finally admitted. 

Alex swallowed to help her suddenly dry mouth before asking “What do you mean ‘can’t’ because I’m fairly sure even surgeons had to do some basic anatomy at some point so you should know how it all works”

“Bugger” Bernie swore as loudly as she dared under the cover of her pillow which she had pressed against her face to hide herself and the reaction from Alex.

Alex swung her legs over the side of the bunk and put her head in her hands. “I’m sorry Bernie, I’ll go find another bunk and stop making you so uncomfortable”

“Please don’t go” Bernie slowly lowered the pillow from her face but clutched it to her chest instead. “I’m the one making you uncomfortable, please just forget I said anything”

“I hate to see you like this” Alex moved to kneel beside her friend’s bunk. “Just talk to me Bernie, get it off your chest, you can tell me anything”

Bernie quickly stared deep into Alex’s eyes then turned away looking embarrassed, biting her bottom lip. 

Alex was within seconds of just snogging her to see if she would either react as she had long suspected and kiss her back or, perhaps, punch her lights out and report her for assaulting an officer. She was actually trying to do the maths to figure out what was more probable when Bernie looked back at her and gently raised her hand to rest on Alex’s shoulder.

Bernie took a deep breath and tried twice to start the sentence without any sounds coming out. “Bloody hell” she finally articulated something and this was enough of a victory to open the floodgates, or at least a sluice gate. “So I went to an interdisciplinary medical conference a couple of years ago”

Alex settled down more comfortably, they were obviously taking the scenic route.

“It was in Berlin and was the usual interminable coffee break, awkward conversation type of thing” Bernie continued.

“I bet you hated that with a passion” Alex suggested quietly.

“The sessions were interesting enough and I was delivering one of the speeches on the battlefield treatments we’d found most useful for stabilising and partially reconstructing joints ready for repatriation to more stable hospitals” Bernie’s eyes were glazed over as she remembered the event.

“This is definitely going to help me sleep” Alex fake yawned that accidentally turned into an actual yawn and she started to laugh when she was finally done.

“We could just sleep” Bernie half-heartedly suggested as she was rather enjoying the start of unburdening herself.

“Hell no” Alex pushed her shoulder and settled more comfortably on the floor. “It’s taken months to get to this stage so keep going”

“I had no idea my sleep habits were so intriguing to you Captain Dawson”

“It’s not the sleep part that intrigues me Major Wolfe, now stop stalling and spit it out” 

“So after the exceptionally boring talk I delivered” she nodded her head at Alex to forestall any interruptions. “Several of the other surgeons in attendance were asking questions and the group of us ended up having dinner together” Bernie took a deep breath.

“Orgy, I knew it!!” Alex giggled and ducked the pillow that Bernie tried to hit her with. “No more interruptions, I promise”

“Yes well” Bernie returned her pillow to under her head and closed her eyes, she couldn’t even risk seeing Alex peripherally if she was to get through this. “After a couple of hours there was only me and a US Navy surgeon left and we decided to go for a nightcap in the hotel bar”

Alex felt her heart sink, she couldn’t have read the signals wrong all these months, but it sounded very much as if Bernie had tried the sapphic side and given it up after a drunken one-night stand. “What was her name?” she guessed hoarsely, at least she’d have something to call the voodoo doll she’d stick pins in after this.

“Gina” Bernie swallowed and blew out a little breath to stop her voice from wavering. “We ended up having a few drinks and the signals were pretty clear. I think we ended up in her room because it was closer” a slight chuckle escaped, “possibly the only time in my life when I couldn’t even wait for one more floor in a lift before I had to touch someone”

“Jesus” Alex bowed her head and promised that her self-imposed punishment would be 50 chin ups.

******************************************************************************

“Bloody hell Bernie” Serena burst out and then swiftly covered her mouth with her hand.

Bernie smiled across at her “I know, bit of a dark horse, eh?”

“So what happened next?” Serena topped up Bernie’s glass again, determined to keep her lubricated enough to finish the tale.

“Maybe I should head home, it’s getting late” Bernie started to sit up and stretched her arms to get the crick out of her neck.

“Don’t you dare!” Serena jumped up and towered over her friend. “You are not leaving this room until I get a happy ending!”

Bernie blinked in shock at Serena’s pronouncement and then started laughing as she saw the realisation dawn on her friend’s face. “I had no idea you were interested” Bernie fluttered her eyelashes before falling back onto the sofa with laughter.

“Well yes” Serena rubbed the back of her neck and returned to her chair. “Obviously I was only talking about the ending of the story”

“Obviously” Bernie smirked and wondered once again about her friend’s rather confusing signals. “So where was I?” she asked and crossed her legs as she sat up straight.

“You were ravaging a Navy surgeon in a hotel lift” Serena recalled perfectly and saw Bernie’s eyebrow lift “Oh shut up and just get on with it”

“That’s what she…..” Bernie started and held her hands up in surrender as Serena threatened her with a cushion.

***********************************************************************************

Bernie swallowed to try to relieve the pressure of the lump in her throat before continuing “We made it to her room and, well, things were progressing…”

Alex clenched her fist against her thigh and quietly let out a breath, trying to keep calm for her best friend…...and even her internal monologue wasn’t buying that anymore.

“I suddenly realised what was happening” Bernie whispered. “She was really sweet about it, considering everything”

“Wait, what?” Alex was fairly sure she had missed a large chunk of the story because they seemed to be at the end already without the nakedness.

“I was so embarrassed that I left the room at a dead run and took the stairs two at a time up to my room.”

“So you didn’t?” the small voice inside her head was screaming at her to stop asking for details, she didn’t want to hear details.

“No, I couldn’t” Bernie admitted. “I’m married and……..well, sort of straight”

“Wait, what?” Alex was actually squeaking now and she was fairly sure she could actually hear the squealing tyres inside her head as they took another sharp left turn from where she’d thought the story was headed.

“But now whenever I close my eyes all I can see is what should have happened” Bernie rubbed her face and let out a breath. “Because if it had I might have figured out what I actually want and be divorced already”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Alex asked softly.

“I’m lying on a bed, in the almost dark, telling you about a time when I nearly slept with another woman when all I really want is to be a divorced mother of two who is actually sleeping with her best friend” Bernie blew out another breath, getting angry now. “So yes, I think if I’d had a one-night stand several years ago that my life would be infinitely less complicated right now”

“Wait” Alex started.

“I swear if you say ‘what’ again I will….” Bernie had turned to threaten Alex with physical violence but was instead kissed quite thoroughly for at least a minute.

“What?” Alex grinned as she traced Bernie’s jaw and neck.

“What?” Bernie blinked several times before getting with the programme and tumbling out of the bunk on top of a surprised but soft anesthetist.

*************************************************************************************

“Oh well done” Serena grinned and leaned across for a high five. 

Bernie looked at her in confusion. “What happened to me being an adulterer?”

“Well, yes” Serena glared at her “But that was quite a story and Marcus is a complete twat” she looked a little surprised as she said this. “But it was quite wrong and I can’t condone that kind of behaviour” she added on, almost as an afterthought.

Bernie finished her wine and put the glass down gently on the table. “I still feel awful for having an affair but I feel worse that I didn’t have the guts to divorce him years ago”

“Do you think it would have been easier if you’d done it before the affair?” Serena asked.

“Well he wouldn’t have been quite so angry about his damaged reputation and I wouldn’t have felt so guilty” Bernie sighed and rubbed her eyes. “So he’d not have been so greedy and I’d have felt less inclined to try to buy him off”

“Twat” Serena muttered again and looked up to see Bernie looking up at her through her fringe. “Well he is”

“No argument from me” Bernie looked at her watch again, “I should probably get going” she stood and pulled her sweater on again.

“So you’ve not heard from Alex recently?” Serena held her coat for her in the hallway.

Bernie started to reply with her usual stock answer of ‘she’s giving me some time’ then she paused and worried her lip with her teeth before looking up again and seeing the understanding in Serena’s eyes. “I send her a weekly update email with all that’s happening, more often than that and I’d be stalking her”

“Has she replied to any?” Serena asked again, already knowing the answer from Bernie’s suddenly slumped shoulders.

“Not yet” Bernie shrugged with one shoulder. “She knows where the divorce stands right now and I don’t think I’ve sorted my life out yet so I don’t expect she’ll contact me until she thinks I’m there”

“But she was your best friend” Serena tried to understand this radio silence. “I’d never cut you off completely, especially with everything you’re going through”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re the best friend I should have fallen in love with and ravaged on the floor of a bunkroom in Afghanistan?” Bernie’s eyes remained wide with that subtle blend of innocent and very naughty indeed.

Serena blushed everywhere and took several moments to make sure her breathing was back to something resembling normal before replying. “Oh Bernie” she engaged full flirt mode, “If I’d seduced you in the desert you’d never have left”

“Big promises Ms. Campbell” Bernie opened the door and they both stood outside, enjoying the fresh air. “Remind me to take you to a beach and demonstrate just how unpleasant it is to roll around in the sand for that kind of fun”

“It’s a deal” Serena stuck her hand out and they shook in mock seriousness. “Get home with you woman and I’ll see you next week”

“Are you sure you don’t want to volunteer in the ward while you’re on holiday?” Bernie suggested and laughed at the definitive hand gesture she received in answer.


	2. Present Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As before, not an expert on Doctors, Army or Deserts so I hope it works out.
> 
> Questions about why I decided to write this given my lack of expertise will be met with confusion but feel free to ask away!

Serena stood in front of her laptop in her study. She’d done the research first thing this morning and then gone out for lunch with a friend from med school before returning home without a decision made. “Oh for the love of..” she sighed in an exasperated manner as she sat down in the chair again, picked up her mobile and dialed.

Alex left the recovery suite and added her notes to the rest of the theatre teams in the file on the nurses' station. She chatted to some of the nursing staff and had agreed to go with a couple of them for lunch when an F1 shouted for her to pick up a call. “Dr. Dawson” she answered, waving at her colleagues that she would meet them in the canteen soon. 

“Is that Alex Dawson?” Serena asked, ridiculously nervous.

“Yes it is, how can I help you?” Alex pointed at the handset and shrugged at the nurse sitting next to her. The nurse glanced at the name showing up for the incoming number and then quickly scribbled a note before holding it up for Alex to see, it said HOLBY? in block capitals.

“Ah yes” Serena had completely lost the carefully rehearsed speech she had planned on making. 

“Is something wrong with Major Wolfe?” Alex asked quietly turning her back on the others present and holding the phone more tightly.

“No, well sort of” Serena took a deep breath and tried to start again. “I’m sorry to call you like this but there is no emergency”

Alex blew out the breath she’d been holding and rested her forehead in her hand as she propped it up on the desk. “No, I’m sorry” she took a steadier breath. “I jumped to conclusions, but what do you mean ‘sort of’?”

“I’m Bernie’s colleague Serena Campbell” she began again, getting back to her usual sense of calm. “I’m a little concerned about her emotional state and I wondered if you and I could meet up for a coffee to figure out a way to help her”

“She’s mentioned you a lot in her emails” Alex smiled at the outlandish descriptions of wardrobe choices and scandalous rejoinders. “I’m not sure she’d like us discussing her behind her back though” she looked down at her left hand, clenching and unclenching.

“Oh she’d be livid, probably even throw cups at me” Serena grinned. “But I doubt either of us is swayed by that kind of thing or we wouldn’t be her friends still”

“What is it you want Dr. Campbell?” Alex had mostly relaxed when she realised that there wasn’t any immediate danger.

“It’s Serena please” she wanted this to begin informally irrespective of the way it ended. “I’d like for you and me to get to know each other a bit and perhaps, together, we can figure out a way to get to a happy ending”

Alex actually took the phone away from her ear for a second to stare at it. When she returned it to her ear she could hear Serena spluttering apologies.

“Not that way!” she knew she was blushing and was so glad that this was happening over the phone.

“You’re blushing right now, aren’t you?” Alex smiled and heard the small whimper in answer. “OK Serena, let’s meet up and we can talk about Bernie” she had expected to feel anxious but it was going to be a relief to be that much closer to Bernie. 

*********************************************************

Serena arrived a little early and found a table in the corner of the small independent coffee shop tucked away down a side street. Depositing her bags behind a chair she asked for a coffee and water and sat back to read a magazine.

Alex stood just inside the door, scanning the people at tables while she stowed her sunglasses in her pocket. She smiled as she found her and stopped at the counter to order a black coffee for herself before walking across the room. “You must be Serena” she quirked a smile and held out her hand.

Serena jumped slightly and blinked as she looked up. “Alex” she recovered quickly and smiled as she shook her hand. “It is lovely to finally meet you”

Alex sat down and thanked the waiter who brought her coffee to their table. “I must admit I was surprised to get your call”

Serena took a moment to drink her own coffee and collect herself. She had expected some small talk but obviously, that was not the Army way. “I wouldn’t have called, interfered really, if I didn’t think I could help her”

“How is Bernie?” Alex sat back and sipped her coffee, trying to get the measure of the woman across from her. 

“She’s Bernie” Serena shrugged and smiled at the chuckle Alex gave in response. “The trauma unit she’s heading up is saving lives and we’re getting surgical referrals from quite a distance away now that news of her genius has spread”

“How is Bernie?” Alex asked again, she knew about the work successes from the emails she’d received but Bernie had been careful to keep these as business-like as she could.

Serena bowed her head and considered her next words, she was treading on dangerous ground here and could make matters worse if she wasn’t careful. “You know that twinkle she gets in her eyes when she’s being brilliant and she knows it and everyone around her knows it?”

Alex nodded and smiled sadly “Yeah, I haven’t seen that in a while”

Serena ploughed on “Well she sometimes gets that outside of work, when we’re having drinks with the team or we’re having dinner together and I know it’s not anything that we’ve done that’s causing it, I think she’s relaxed and she’s wondering how you’d be laughing or joking with us”

“Why do you think it’s me she’s thinking about?” Alex was intrigued to see the emotion playing across the other woman’s face, she thought she caught sadness and a hint of jealousy.

“Because I know she has no social life and there isn’t anyone else in her life who makes her feel like that” Serena admitted, sipping her coffee before looking up and into Alex’s piercing blue eyes. “Since Marcus made it his personal goal to see that her family totally rejected her she has thrown herself into her work”

Alex continued to meet her gaze, swallowing as she recognised the look of futility in Serena’s eyes. She knew that look from the days before Bernie had given into their attraction, she had seen it in her own eyes often enough as she waged the war between being Bernie’s best friend and wanting to be so much more. Serena looked down at her watch, desperately trying to conceal the truth from Alex, a truth she had barely recognised or acknowledged herself. 

“She always was stubborn and single-minded, even when Marcus was being a complete bastard thousands of miles away” Alex took another gulp of rapidly cooling coffee to rid herself of the taste of his name. “I thought she was dealing with things a little better this time around though”

“I’m not suggesting she’s nearing a breakdown or anything like that” Serena reassured the younger woman. “But I think she deserves to be happy, truly happy, and I think you’re probably the woman for the job” she smiled and placed her hand over Alex’s where it sat on the table.

“Probably?” Alex raised an eyebrow and smiled. “I don’t need to interview for the position, do I?”

Serena knew she’d made the right decision, this woman was smart and funny and she could imagine her giving Bernie as good as she got. “So how are we going to do this?” she asked, ready to get her slightly insane plan moving.

Alex looked at Serena again before turning to wave over the waiter. “We start with a proper lunch and more coffee” she explained before placing their order.

Serena carefully wiped her mouth with her napkin and pushed her empty plate away a little. “So, do you think it will work?” she asked.

“Oh it will work” Alex assured her. “It’s how long she punishes us for it afterward that’s the question”

“Ah yes” Serena nodded. “She will be a little miffed I suspect” she smiled at Alex “although she’ll undoubtedly blame you more than me”

“Well until I explain how it was all your idea” Alex grinned back at her.

******************************************************************

Bernie sighed as she leaned against the nurses’ station, reading a newspaper over Raf’s shoulder. “Problem?” Raf asked her.

“Bored” Bernie admitted and turned to look at the small unit. “Everyone is responding well to treatment or already moved” 

Raf grinned “That’s a good thing, yeah?”

Bernie sighed again “I know”

“What did you do in the Army, when it was quiet like this?” Raf asked.

“Well there was always marching” Bernie grinned as Raf rolled his eyes. “I’ll go and find some paperwork”

Serena wandered into the ward, trying to carry her shopping bags, open the doors and keep the coffees from spilling. “Serena?” Raf asked as she looked up. “I thought you were on holiday?”

“Well I was missing you all so much that I had to pop in” she smirked.

“She’s in your office” he nodded his head at the door and returned to his crossword.

Serena didn’t even bother questioning his assumption that she was only there to see her friend. She knew he was perceptive but also not judgemental. “I leave you alone for three days and my ward is empty?” she stood in the doorway, watching Bernie surf her emails.

“What on earth are you doing here?” she asked. “Miss me?”

“Like the sun left my sky” Serena replied dryly before handing over a coffee and dropping her shopping bags beside her chair. “Oh I needed that” she moaned as she sank down into her chair and took a sip from her own cup.

Bernie gulped and slowly returned her eyes to the screen, putting her cup down carefully. “So why are you here, really?”

“Well I was out shopping and it suddenly occurred to me that you’ve never invited me to dinner” Serena leaned forward, resting her arms on her desk, unconsciously giving Bernie a view of quite a lot of cleavage.

“Dinner?” Bernie finally managed to wrestle her eyes up to meet Serena’s smirk. “Why on earth would you be thinking about that while you were shopping?”

“Ah” Serena nodded and rummaged in one of her shopping bags. “Because I was looking at this and thought of you” she grinned proudly.

Bernie reached a little and took the recipe book from her friend’s outstretched hand. “It’s a Middle Eastern cookbook” she unnecessarily pointed out.

“Which I expect to be sampling goodies from fairly soon” Serena nodded as if nobody could fault her logic.

Bernie was struggling to get on the same page “So you want me to cook you something from a region where I mainly have memories of death and destruction?”

“Well I was rather hoping that you’d have happier memories of little restaurants that served divine whatevers” Serena airily waved her hand. 

“Right” Bernie nodded as if she completely understood. “So you think I can cook and that I spent my time in the desert picking up charming little bistro recommendations?” she double-checked.

Serena started to reflect that there might be a tiny, insignificant flaw in her plan. “Well, it doesn’t have to be specific to that region” she started and then picked up on Bernie’s first point. “You can’t cook?”

“Well I can follow a recipe like most people I suppose” Bernie shrugged and fanned through the book which she realised she was still holding rather as if it was live ordnance. “But I tend to just have pasta or eat out”

Serena sighed, why on earth hadn’t Alex warned her of this hitch. “But you’re not averse to tackling something a bit more adventurous?”

“I suppose not, so you want me to invite you round for dinner and try out a random dish from this book?”

“I thought you’d never ask, I’d love to attend your dinner party” Serena sat back in her chair, glad that she was back on her expected track. “What kind of wine can I bring?”

************************************************

Alex checked her hair in the mirror one more time and then huffed at herself. “For goodness sake!” she was annoyed. “She’s seen you dirty and muddy and grimy and in parade dress” She didn’t want to admit that she was more nervous than she’d ever been before, despite their history. It had taken two weeks before their schedules coincided and Serena had finally stopped having to invent excuses why she wasn’t free for dinner when Bernie knew she was off-duty. She jumped nervously when her phone pinged and then checked the message. Blowing out her cheeks one more time she glanced down and opened another button on her shirt before shrugging on her jacket “Can’t hurt” she muttered as she grabbed her keys and headed for her car.

Serena checked her bag one more time and shouted to Jason that she was going to wait outside for her lift. He shouted something from the kitchen and Alan popped his head around the doorway “Have a nice evening” he smiled and she waved.

Alex pulled up to the kerb and leaned across to open the passenger door for Serena. She nervously wet her lips as she waited for her passenger to sort out her seatbelt before signaling and pulling out into traffic again. “You OK?” she glanced across at Serena.

“Yes, you?” Serena could see Alex’s fingers drumming on the steering wheel. “It’ll be fine” she gently laid her hand on top of Alex’s before clearing her throat. “I mean she can’t stop talking to both of us for long, we’re her only friends” she reasoned.

Alex shook her head and smiled for the first time that day. “You’ve never seen her having a proper sulk then?” 

“Oh no, but that sounds like a good story to while away the next twenty minutes” Serena smiled and relaxed a little as Alex began the tale.

Bernie blew her fringe out of her eyes as she sucked on her finger. “Shit” she muttered and checked that the burn wasn’t going to blister. “I’m going to kill her, slowly” she reminded herself before pushing the casserole dish back into the oven and banging the door closed with her knee. She looked around at the carnage of her kitchen, growling as she checked her watch and knew that she had about twenty minutes to get it cleared away to allow herself 30 minutes for a shower and change. “I should just make her do the bloody dishes…….who the hell am I talking to?!”

The car engine was clicking as it cooled down. Serena blew out a breath “Do I need to take the keys with me to make sure you don’t make a run for it?”

Alex chuckled “No, it’s time” she turned slightly in the driver’s seat to face Serena. “However this plays out I need to thank you” placing her hand gently on Serena’s as she made a dismissive gesture. “No I mean it, this might be just the kick we needed to sort out the rest of our lives and it’s down to you”

Serena swallowed and blinked a couple of times before being able to answer. “I only ever wanted her to be happy” she held up her hand to stop Alex from interrupting. “But I’d like to think that we’ve begun a good friendship over the last few weeks and now I want you both to be happy and together” Alex leaned over and they shared a slightly squashed hug. “And obviously I expect a front row seat at the wedding, I have the most gorgeous outfit already picked out” 

Alex sniffed and laughed at the same time. “I’ll buy the outfit and even throw in shoes and a bag if this works”

“Deal” Serena held out her hand and they solemnly shook. “Right, I should get going, give us 20 minutes to get settled then you know what to do”

“Longest 20 minutes of my life” Alex muttered as she watched Serena pick her way between the other parked cars and enter the building housing Bernie’s flat.

Serena ran her fingers through her hair as she nervously waited. She heard a muffled “Just coming” from inside and took a final chance to straighten her back. 

Bernie opened the door with one hand as she finished drying her hair with the towel in her other hand. “Sorry, running a bit late” she muttered and glanced out from under the towel to see Serena standing stock still on her doormat. “I’m not serving you out there” she took a step back and gestured for her friend to come in. “Are you OK?” she asked as she slung the damp towel over her shoulder and hung up Serena’s coat.

“What, yes, of course, fine, how are you?” Serena knew she was perilously close to babbling but couldn’t stop herself. She also couldn’t stop her eyes constantly being drawn to Bernie’s open shirt. “You didn’t have to dress up, or down, for me” she tried a joke to lessen some of her tension.

Bernie frowned at her strange behaviour and then looked down. “Damn, sorry” she hurriedly fastened the buttons on her shirt. “I didn’t put you off your food, did I?” she smiled and gestured at her now concealed chest.

Serena had managed to calm her breathing down a little and returned to her usual flirtiness. “On the contrary, I’m positively famished”

Bernie squinted and opened and closed her mouth several times before moving past Serena to the living room where there was a small table set up. She put the bottle of wine that Serena had handed her next to the glasses and corkscrew. “Would you mind doing the honours while I just finish up?”

Serena drank a quick shot of the wine to steady her nerves. In the past few weeks, since hatching her plan with Alex, she had come to a newfound understanding of the way she was reacting to her friend, as certainly something more than a friend. However, the overriding emotion she recognised was a little sadness that she would never have the chance to explore these feelings further as she genuinely wanted Bernie and Alex to make a go of it. At no point had she expected tonight to be even more difficult for her, planning on playing her part early in the evening and then leaving them to it. 

Bernie cursed quietly under her breath, how could she have been so stupid as to flaunt herself like that. She dumped the towel in the hamper and ran a brush through her hair, giving herself a serious glare in the mirror. She picked up the perfume bottle but then looked back at herself and put it back down without using it.

“Right, sorry about that” she rubbed her hands together in the classic nervous tell that Serena now recognised.

“It’s not a problem” Serena handed her a glass of wine. “Something smells fabulous” she waved her hand in the general direction of the kitchen.

Bernie nodded and held her chair out for her. “Well I just hope it tastes OK” she set her glass down and flicked on the cd player as she walked past. 

Serena glanced down at her watch, they had 10 more minutes before Alex was due to put their plan into action. She stood up from the table again and followed Bernie to the kitchen. “So how has your day been?” she leaned in the kitchen doorway.

Bernie looked up, a little surprised to see that Serena hadn’t remained seated at the table. “It was OK” she shrugged. “I finished off some paperwork this morning and then decimated my kitchen for most of the afternoon”

“Am I not getting the 50p tour” Serena gestured over her shoulder at the rest of the flat.

“Oh, of course, I’m sorry” Bernie wiped her hands on a dishtowel before indicating that Serena should move back into the living room. “I didn’t have much time to tidy up” she apologised before moving towards the bedroom. “So you’ve seen the living room and the kitchen” she opened the door and grimaced slightly “This is the bedroom, I’ve been a bit busy to get around to laundry recently”

Serena leaned in the doorway and looked worriedly around the piles of clothes and books strewn haphazardly around the bed. “Well, I suppose it saves you from having to vacuum the carpet” she shrugged. She hoped that kissing Bernie would be enough for Alex to be whisked to a level of passion whereby she didn’t notice the mess. “I have a number for a fabulous cleaning service, remind me to give it to you” 

Bernie cringed, this was turning into a bit of a disaster, all she needed was to burn the food and then she’d never live it down. She saw Serena glance at her watch for the second time since she arrived, “If you have somewhere else you need to be….” she trailed off.

“What?” Serena looked up to see Bernie looking embarrassed. “No, no, no” she hurried to reassure her. “Sorry, I’m just not used to leaving Jason in charge of ordering his own pizza and I was wondering if it’s too early to call and see if he’s managed OK”

Bernie looked a little surprised, she was sure Serena had mentioned that Alan was going to be with Jason tonight. “If you need to call him the phone’s over there” she pointed to her mobile. 

“No, I’m just being an old woman” Serena assured her and looked surprised when Bernie laughed. 

“Nobody else on the planet would get away with calling you that” Bernie assured her and turned back towards the kitchen when she heard someone knocking on her door. “Can you get that while I sort out the food?”

“NO!” Serena jumped towards the kitchen. “I mean, it’s your door” she explained as if that made some sense. “Let me take care of the food” she pushed Bernie towards the door.

“Are you sure you’re OK?” Bernie checked with her, a frown furrowing her forehead. “You’ve been a bit jumpy since you arrived”

“Absolutely fine” Serena assured her as she moved towards the oven. “Now go and sort that out and then we can enjoy a delicious dinner”

Bernie watched her for another few seconds before shaking her head and turning towards her front door. “I’m coming” she shouted again and glanced down to check she was fully dressed this time. Perhaps that was why Serena was being weird, she thought. The poor woman was probably petrified that she was going to pounce on her. She pulled the door open a bit more ferociously than she meant to and then everything stopped, her heart, the music from next door, the traffic noise from the nearby main road. “Alex?” she whispered.

“Bernie,” Alex said quietly and stuck her hands in her pockets to stop herself reaching out to her. 

“Alex?” Bernie said again as the noises and pulse started up again. “What are you doing here?”

“You live here” Alex quirked a smile at her. 

“I live here” Bernie had meant it to be a definitive statement but it came out as more of a query than she would have liked. “I mean, I live here” she tried again.

“Now we have that sorted out, can I come in?” Alex nodded over Bernie’s shoulder.

Bernie suddenly panicked, how would it look that she was cooking dinner for another woman? “Ehm, give me a minute” she stuttered and closed the door in a very surprised Alex’s face. “Shit” she moved towards the kitchen at the kind of speed reserved for trauma surgery calls.

Serena was leaning against the kitchen counter with a smile on her face when she heard the front door slam and Bernie swear. “What on earth?” she muttered as she moved towards the living room, only to meet Bernie head-on in the doorway. “Ouch” she grabbed hold of Bernie’s arm to stop herself from being knocked off her feet. “What the hell?” she started before Bernie pushed her back into the kitchen and closed the door.

“Alex” Bernie said breathlessly.

“Alex” Serena said as she tried to figure out what was wrong.

“Alex is here” Bernie managed some more of the sentence.

“She is?” Serena had practiced her ‘suprised’ look in the mirror all week. “Oh that is marvelous, I finally get to meet the mystery woman” she smiled, still not able to figure out why Bernie was looking so worried.

“Alex is here” Bernie started again, surprised that Serena was being so slow on the uptake.

“Yes, Alex is here” Serena nodded and ducked down to look Bernie’s eyes.

“Alex is here and so are you” Bernie managed to finish the sentence that was screaming round inside her head so loudly that she was amazed that Serena couldn’t hear it.

“Yes, that’s why I said I could finally meet her” Serena slowly explained. “What on earth is the matter with you?” she gave up on slow and decided to cut to the chase.

“What if she thinks that you and I” Bernie moved her hand between the two of them and blushed.

“Ah” Serena finally got it. “Well we’ll just explain that we’re colleagues and friends” she hadn’t even considered this angle.

“Friends” Bernie was back to saying one word at a time. “Just friends” she tried to double her tally.

“Just friends,” Serena said softly and swallowed, this was absolutely not the time to admit to anything deeper.

“Just friends, right” Bernie was on a roll, “That’ll work” 

“Where is she?” Serena decided to move on from the confusing mix of emotions she was experiencing at Bernie’s apparent confusion over the concept.

“Shit” Bernie swore again and yanked the kitchen door open.

“Oh dear” Serena ran her hand over her face, she hoped that Alex had waited.

Alex was still standing looking at the closed door in amazement when it suddenly opened and Bernie flew out of it. She jumped about a foot backward and then hit the opposite wall of the hallway as Bernie grabbed her in her arms. “Oooft” she managed before she was thoroughly kissed. “Bernie, it’s OK love” she gently held her face as the kisses slowed to a less frantic pace. “Everything’s OK” she assured as she realised Bernie was crying.

Serena was pulling her coat on as Alex calmed Bernie down and guided her towards the doorway. “I switched the oven off” she laid her hand gently on Alex’s arm. 

Bernie looked up, “Serena I’m sorry, this is…” she ground to a halt as Alex let her go and pulled Serena into a hug. “What’s going on?” she stared at Serena over Alex’s shoulder.

“Ah, well I’m sure Dr. Dawson can explain” Serena smiled and patted Alex’s shoulder. “I really must be going”

“Oh no you don’t” Bernie grabbed hold of her arm and moved all three of them back inside her flat. “Talk” the instruction was meant equally for both of them.

Alex looked sheepishly at the older woman and then followed as Serena sighed and moved into the living room. “So this is the famous Dr. Campbell?” Alex tried to get back to the plan of this being the first time she’d met Serena.

“Captain?” Bernie raised an eyebrow and pointed at the sofa “Sit and tell me what’s going on”

“Yes ma’am” Alex sat on the edge of the sofa.

Bernie turned to Serena and took her coat from her before pointing to space next to Alex “You too”

Serena sighed and sat back on the sofa, crossing her legs and glaring at Alex. “You do the talking” she ground out.

“Somebody had better start talking soon” Bernie warned as she leaned against the edge of the dining table and crossed her arms.

“Well Serena had this plan” Alex started, only to wince as Serena elbowed her.

“Coward” Serena whispered before looking back towards her friend. “Do you remember the night when you told me about how you got together with Alex?” 

“Yes” Bernie answered.

Alex looked between the two of them “You told her about that night?”

“You don’t get to be asking questions right now” Bernie warned but softened her glare as she saw the blush on Alex’s face. “I gave her the PG version”

“If that was PG then…” Serena started 

Bernie interrupted her “Not helping” she warned.

“Right” Serena nodded “So anyway, we talked that night about how you hadn’t been in contact with each other and you looked so…...lost I suppose” Bernie looked a bit panicked so Serena quickly carried on. “I decided that I’d try to find Alex to see if she was as lost”

Alex had managed to gather herself. “She plied me with a lot of coffee and we sort of bonded over wanting to see you happy”

There was a silence for several seconds as they all waited to see how Bernie would react to the knowledge of their collaboration. Bernie wasn’t sure herself until she remembered how happy recounting their connection in Afghanistan had made her. “So you planned this all along?”

“Well this inquisition wasn’t part of the plan” Serena dryly pointed out. “Alex was supposed to be surprised to meet me for the first time and then I’d leave you to it”

Alex looked embarrassed “Sorry, never was much for following orders”

“It wasn’t entirely your fault” Serena gave her a little relief “Major Wolfe here wasn’t supposed to react like a bad French farce was taking place”

Bernie finally lost the moral high ground and had the grace to look embarrassed as well. “Sorry about that” she rubbed the back of her neck. “I was just shocked to see Alex and I’m not sure what happened”

“Did she ask you to hide in the closet?” Alex grinned as she realised what had been happening behind the closed door.

“I don’t think I’ll be back in a closet anytime soon” Serena assured her, missing the double take that Bernie gave her. “So can I get off home now?” she asked.

“Oh no” Bernie pulled over another chair and pointed at it. “I made this bloody dinner and you can both eat it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if this has any more in it so I stopped it here, it'll take me a while to get back up to the stage of writing M rated fics :)


End file.
